Friendship and Self-Sufficiency

In the final chapter of the Nicomachean Ethics, Aristotle provides the ultimate conclusion to his development of the eudaimonistic life. He says that it is a life of contemplation because (among other things) contemplation leads to the purest form of self-sufficiency. I have always appreciated Aristotelian self-sufficiency and would like to talk a little bit about how that might relate to the relationships from the previous chapter. One of my favorite sermonettes ever came during what is called Friday morning fellowship, a Bible study for professionals that meets in downtown Chicago every week. The leader spoke of the ideal model for a marriage. He said that people too often look at their spouse as the person who completes them. However, said the speaker, the best marriages are those that unite two completely self-sufficient and independent people. For it is only when someone is independent that he or she can really serve and love his or her spouse. I think that these thoughts really apply to Aristotle’s viewpoints on the life of contemplation and friendship. One can best reach the top-tier of friendship once he or she has already become an independent person and has more to give to their friend. This obviously applies to more than just marriage, but to all friendship in general. Finally, I really like how Aristotle integrates relaxation into his ideal life structure. One has to relax so that he can be better rested when he actually needs the energy. However, relaxation is not an end, but rather something that help achieve another end. It would be interesting if Aristotle would apply relaxation to relationships—AKA would relationships be better if people took occasional breaks?